Society of St Andrew of Scotland (Qld) Limited

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Jokes

True Scot!

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This young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." 
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." 
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. 
Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." 
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle." 
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. 
After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."  "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." 
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. The the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.  "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." 
The young man glanced down with a furled brow.  "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time." 
"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. 
"Aye," said the lad, nodding. 
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. 
Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
Last Updated ( Thursday, 09 October 2008 22:05 )
 

Jokes

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 A Scotsman was heading out to the pub and turned to his wee wife before leaving...
 "Jackie - put your hat and coat on lassie".
 "Awe John that's nice - are you taking me to the pub with you?".
 "No just switching the central heating off while I'm oot"


 The first people in the UK to have double glazing were the Scots. .. so their kids couldn't hear the ice cream vans.


 How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
 Och! it's no that dark!


 Have you heard about the lecherous Scotsman who lured a girl up to his  attic to see his etchings?
 He sold her four of them....


 An Scotsman took a girl for a romantic ride in his taxi. She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eye on the meter...


 A suicidal Scotsman went next door to his neighbour's house to gas  himself....


 A very popular man dies in Aberdeen and his old widow wishes to tell all  his friends at once, so she goes to the Aberdeen Evening Express and says  "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"
 The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
 The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says  "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok"
 So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter   
The man reads "Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid"
 He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things.
 The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again.
 The man then reads "Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid. Ford Escort for sale" .
 


Scotland

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